I'm really getting tired of my room being so hot at night. A trade off though - I can either sit here with the window open listening to road noise and smelling residual smoke from the guy the next street over's bonfire - or I can go try to sleep and sweat more with no road noise or smoke, but lots of light.
As a result: I'm online, and the first message of the day I get is a link to facebook. One of those event invitations. Me event? no? maybe? rarely yes. But the link took me directly to the page. I usually just delete these from the main page unless they're actual events with people I know doing stuff, or something interesting. The event: "Spirit Day - Stop Homophobic Abuse". Does something seem a little off with the title? Yeah, the comments and description somewhat fall in line with this trend. In typical facebook style:
Wear purple on the 20th of October to honor the six boys who recently committed suicide as a result of being tormented by peers for being gay.A few things bug me about this - no one started caring at all till the most recent death - it has everything to do with politics and religion - there's a lot more to preventing teen suicide than just saying: let's love everyone - and wearing purple as an ineffective message.
This is not about gay rights. This event has nothing to do with politics or what the Bible says. This event is about loving people. We need to make an effort to show love for every single human being, so that the teen suicides end. I only wish we had done this before these young men took their lives.
p.s. For those of you who are having issues with the title. We're trying to stop abuse that is homophobic in nature, not abuse of homophobes. Otherwise the title would be "Stop homophobe abuse."
p.p.s. PLEASE. Do not spread hate on this page, whether that be hate for gays or for anti-gays. This page is about loving other people, so let's please all be good examples of that love in our actions and words. Thank you.
No one started caring until this one university student died and there have been far more than six deaths. And, from personal observation, it seems to me that most of these suicide have been swept under the rug in the media, and that the non-white (and female and trans!) victims seem to be even more ignored. (I'm saying on a general scale - the talk shows are a whole other story here - Ellen and Oprah, if I remember correctly, have focused on this issue before.) It is sad that media attention finally got people paying attention to this problem that's been going on for a whole lot longer than most people assume.
I'll say it again: this has everything to do with politics and religion. Those influences are everywhere. You can't take either of these out of the equation here. Politics - the legal rights one has to physical safety, ability to function if one so chooses in public without fear of harm. But who am I to say? These rights have been violated so many times in the course of our history (human I mean, U.S. if you're making me specific). On the issue of religion, well that's a tough one. I could write volumes on this, but I'll limit myself to the "love the sinner, hate the sin" mentality prevalent in this event and its comments. As evidenced by the comments, you can't just take the bible out of this (or any religion for that matter). People who use religion as an excuse for hate really frustrate me. It just seems too hypocritical. (I know, back to the whole history of hate thing. One of the largest teams out there? Do I even need to say?) And this politically/religiously flavored nimby-ism (footnote 1) present in the comments is very representative of my point. "Oh, you're gay, well stay away from my family, I don't want to infecting us, but oh I'll totally wear purple in some half-hearted attempt to make sure you don't get beat up." Or the other side of things "Oh, this is a sin, I'm not going to participate because this is wrong and you should change" thus perpetuating the hate in the first place. Many of the comments, especially of the "why would we do this" variety reference the experience of Jewish people in the holocaust. Somehow, they magically forget that homosexuals were a targeted group. (footnote 2) From that perspective they do no address the isolation and loneliness that is so common amongst lgbt youth, especially when you have few role models or peers who even acknowledge homosexuality in a positive manner. (And, to be fair, it is not easy for me to speak from that perspective, my high school environment was very open, and very accepting compared to most, even more so than the university I attended for undergrad.)
I'm not a teen counselor. I don't want to be in that I would find it too emotionally draining. Yet, a few common sense points come up making it impossible for me to resist commenting in the subject of teen suicide. This whole "let's love everyone" attitude is a nice thought, but ineffective. Yes, it would be nice to have less hate in this world, but what about actual ways to prevent suicide? Teen counseling programs, or something... something concrete. I'm not the best person to make the recommendation as to what - but this whole tolerance thing of let's love everyone - doesn't translate into reality or acceptance. Again, it's hard to take someone that "says love the sinner hate the sin" seriously.
Do I think wearing purple will change things? Probably not - do I think it could be a nice gesture? Sure, it has great potential in that regard. Instead of wearing purple, or doing something that most people won't understand, why not do a larger "Gay, fine by me" campaign? Just saying since it has clear message and could be used as a fund raising tool to benefit ... say a glbt youth organization. Well look at that, making yourselves feel good and making a difference. We could even make the shirts purple.
The thing that gets me most about this, aside from the few gay/bi/lesbian people who have actually posted on this, is that it is all about helping them. The language used seems to perpetuate this idea of "other". In saying "they're humans too" does that language then bring into question again "they're" humanity? Not the best example I know, and the comments are filled with better ones.
Okay, I've been working on this thing for two hours, posting provisionally in draft status because I might like to add more/correct later. And I need coffee - like now.
Footnotes:
1.) NIMBY-ism = not in my back yard, as in environmental circles where communities or individuals may not want a toxic dump in their town, but don't mind if its in a second town 50 miles away. (Usually the second town is of a much lower socio-economic status and in a position where they have a much harder time fighting back.)
2.) A good book to read for more information is The Pink Triangle by Richard Plant.
